top of page
Search

Why Most Business Owners Struggle to Get Referrals (And How to Fix It)

ziemteam
Oct 27
9 min read

What if your next customer isn't someone you need to find, but someone your network already knows?


Think about that for a second.

You're a real estate agent trying to find your next buyer.

A mortgage professional looking for another qualified borrower.

A financial advisor hoping to connect with more families.

An accountant looking to grow your client base.

Or maybe you're a self-employed business owner who could use a few more customers this month.

What's the first thing you think about doing?

More advertising?

More social media posts?

Buying leads?

Spending another few hours prospecting?

There's nothing wrong with any of those things.

But I've learned something from building my insurance business, working with other professionals, and hosting networking events.


Sometimes the opportunity you're looking for is already sitting inside someone else's network.


The problem?

They don't know you well enough to introduce you.

And that is where most business owners are missing out.


The Referral Problem Nobody Wants to Talk About

Let me ask you something.

How many people in your network actually know what you do?

Not just your job title.

I mean REALLY understand what you do.

Who do you help?

What problems do you solve?

What makes someone a great referral for you?

And here's an even better question.


How many of those people would feel comfortable recommending you to someone they care about?


There's a difference between knowing someone and trusting them enough to make an introduction.

I see this constantly.

People connect on Facebook or LinkedIn.

They attend a networking event.

They exchange business cards.

Then nothing happens.

Six months later, they're wondering why nobody sends them referrals.

Well, did you ever build a relationship?

Or did you just collect another contact?


Lesson #1: Stop Collecting Contacts and Start Building Relationships

I've attended my share of networking events.

And I noticed something that always bothered me.

People would walk around trying to meet everybody.

They'd exchange business cards, deliver their elevator pitch, and move on to the next person.

Twenty or thirty business cards later, they'd leave feeling productive.

But what happened next?

For many people, absolutely nothing.

Those cards ended up on a desk, in a drawer, or somewhere in the car.

That's one reason I decided to create my own Connection Meetups.

I wanted something different.

Instead of focusing on how many people could attend, I wanted to create opportunities for people to actually get to know each other.

At our first in-person meetup, we had eight attendees.

Not eighty.

Eight.

But those eight people created 32 meaningful connections, eight introductions, and ten follow-up commitments.

And every attendee said they'd come again.

I'll take that over a room full of strangers exchanging business cards and never speaking again.

Because here's what I've learned:

Three genuine relationships can be worth more than thirty business cards.


Lesson #2: Your Referral Network Should Include Different Professionals

Let's use my insurance business as an example.

I help individuals, families, and business owners with auto, home, commercial, and business insurance across New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

Now think about the professionals whose clients might also need insurance.

Real estate agents.

Mortgage professionals.

Financial advisors.

Accountants.

Attorneys.

Business owners.

Property managers.

The list goes on.

But here's where it gets interesting.

Those professionals can also benefit from knowing each other.

A real estate agent may know someone who needs a mortgage professional.

A mortgage professional may have a client who needs insurance.

An accountant may work with a business owner who needs help protecting their business.

A financial advisor may have a client looking for another qualified professional.

And sometimes I'm not the right person to help.

But I might know someone who is.

That's why I love being able to say:

"I know someone you should meet."

I'm not trying to become the expert at everything.

I'm building relationships with people who have different expertise.

When there's a genuine need, I can make an appropriate introduction.

Of course, professional referrals need to respect client privacy, licensing requirements, and applicable referral rules.

But the principle is simple.


The stronger your professional network, the more ways you may be able to help people.


And helping people creates reasons for relationships to grow.


Lesson #3: Stop Asking for Referrals Before You've Earned Trust

This one might upset a few people.

But I'm going to say it anyway.

Just because someone accepted your friend request doesn't mean they owe you a referral.

Just because you had a 15-minute conversation doesn't mean they're ready to send their best client your way.

Think about it.

Would you recommend someone to your family if you barely knew them?

Probably not.

Why would you expect another professional to do that?

Referrals involve trust.

When someone introduces you to their client, friend, or family member, they're putting part of their reputation on the line.

That's a big deal.

So instead of immediately asking:

"Who do you know who needs my services?"

Try asking:

"What are you working on right now?"

Or:

"What kind of clients do you enjoy helping?"

Or my personal favorite:

"Who would be a great connection for you?"

Now you're learning about the person.

You're building a relationship.

And you're discovering whether there's a genuine way to help.

That's a much better foundation for referrals.

I wrote more about this in my article How to Build Trust Online Without Being Salesy.

Because trust isn't something you demand.

It's something you develop.


Lesson #4: Build Your Power 10

This is where my approach starts becoming a system.

Inside Connection Creator Academy, I teach something called the Power 10.

The idea is simple.

You don't need thousands of followers.

You need the right ten relationships.

Imagine you're a real estate agent.

What if you intentionally developed meaningful relationships with a mortgage professional, insurance agent, accountant, attorney, financial advisor, contractor, and other complementary professionals?

Not just added them to your contact list.

Actually got to know them.

Understood their businesses.

Learned what they needed.

Made introductions.

Stayed connected.

Now imagine doing that consistently.

You begin developing a network of people who understand what you do and who you serve.

Does that guarantee referrals?

Of course not.

But it gives you something much more valuable than a list of strangers.

A foundation of real professional relationships.

And the best part?

You can start building that network today.


Lesson #5: Your Follow-Up Is Probably Costing You Opportunities

Here's something I noticed when hosting my Connection Meetups.

People are generally pretty good at introducing themselves.

They're not nearly as good at following up.

Think about your last networking event.

How many people did you meet?

Now, how many have you spoken to since?

Exactly.

That's why follow-up is built into my meetups.

We encourage attendees to exchange contact information, remember who they spoke with, and commit to continuing at least one conversation.

After our first event, I checked in with attendees.

Every one of them had followed up with at least one person.

Some had already arranged additional conversations.

That's what I wanted to see.

Because the first conversation doesn't create a relationship.

It creates the possibility of one.

Here's an easy follow-up you could send:

"Hey, I enjoyed our conversation the other day. I was thinking about what you mentioned regarding your business. How's that coming along?"

Simple.

No sales pitch.

No awkward request for referrals.

Just a genuine conversation.

If this is something you struggle with, check out How to Follow Up After Networking Without Being Salesy.


Lesson #6: Become the Person Who Makes Introductions

One of the most valuable things I've learned through insurance, podcasting, and networking is that you don't always have to be the person making the sale.

Sometimes your biggest contribution is connecting two people.

Maybe you know a real estate agent who would benefit from meeting a mortgage professional.

Maybe a business owner needs an accountant.

Maybe someone wants to start a podcast and you know somebody who can help.

Make the introduction, with permission.

Don't immediately worry about what you're going to get out of it.

Now, I'm not suggesting you give away your time endlessly or expect every introduction to come back as a commission.

That's not how genuine relationships work.

But when you consistently show people you're willing to help, you give them a reason to remember you.

And that's important.

Because when someone eventually asks them:

"Do you know anybody who can help with this?"

You want to be someone they trust enough to consider recommending.


Lesson #7: You Need a Daily Relationship-Building Habit

Here's where most people get stuck.

They understand the importance of networking.

They attend an event.

They get motivated.

They have a few conversations.

Then life happens.

They're busy.

They're working.

They're dealing with clients.

And suddenly three weeks have passed.

That's why I teach a simple Daily Builder Loop inside the Academy:

POST 1 → HELP 2 → CONNECT 1

Post one piece of useful content.

Help two people through comments, answers, resources, or introductions.

Start one genuine conversation.

That's it.

You don't need to spend four hours a day networking.

You need to become consistent.

And when you do it for 30, 60, or 90 days, you start building a habit.

Not every conversation will lead to business.

Not every introduction will become a referral.

But you'll be giving yourself more opportunities to develop relationships.


Stop waiting for referrals to happen. Start building relationships that make referrals possible.


Your 7-Day Referral Relationship Challenge

Here's what I want you to try this week.

Day 1: Write down ten professionals who could be valuable relationships in your business.

Day 2: Reconnect with two people you haven't spoken to recently.

Day 3: Have one conversation where your only goal is learning about the other person's business.

Day 4: Make one introduction between two people who could benefit from knowing each other.

Day 5: Share a useful resource with someone in your network.

Day 6: Follow up with someone you met at a networking event or online.

Day 7: Review your conversations and identify three relationships worth developing further.


Notice something?

I didn't tell you to pitch anyone.

I didn't tell you to ask ten people for referrals.

I didn't tell you to send your business link to fifty strangers.

I told you to build relationships.

Because that's where opportunities can begin.


Final Thoughts: Your Next Referral Could Be One Conversation Away

I'm a full-time educator.

I also work in insurance.

I've built businesses, developed affiliate income, hosted podcast interviews, and created networking events.

And if there's one lesson that keeps showing up in everything I do, it's this:

Relationships create opportunities.

Sometimes it's a new client.

Sometimes it's a collaboration.

Sometimes it's a referral.

Sometimes it's simply meeting somebody who teaches you something that changes how you approach your business.

You can't predict every outcome.

But you can control whether you're putting yourself in situations where relationships can develop.


So here's my question:

Are you spending more time chasing your next lead or building relationships with people who could help you grow?


Maybe it's time to change that.


Keep Learning on the Network Marketing Insider Blog

This article is the beginning of my Power Network Series, where I'll share practical ways to build professional relationships, strengthen your referral network, and create more business opportunities.

Here are a few related articles worth reading:


Watch the Network Marketing Insider Podcast

I've had the opportunity to sit down with entrepreneurs, business owners, creators, and professionals who have taught me a tremendous amount about building businesses.

And many of those conversations began through networking.

On the Network Marketing Insider Podcast, you'll hear real conversations about business growth, relationship building, entrepreneurship, and creating income beyond your paycheck.


Watch the latest episodes and explore previous interviews:


You never know which conversation might give you your next great idea.


Attend a Connection Meetup

Want to experience a different kind of networking?

That's why I created the Connection Meetups.

We focus on meaningful conversations, useful introductions, and actual follow-up instead of collecting business cards.

Whether you attend an in-person event or join us virtually, the goal is the same:

Meet the right people. Build real relationships. Create opportunities.


Find upcoming events and registration details:


Build Your Power 10 Inside Connection Creator Academy

If you're a real estate agent, mortgage professional, financial advisor, accountant, or self-employed business owner who wants to build stronger professional relationships, I'd love to help you put this into practice.


Inside Connection Creator Academy, we're focused on a simple mission:

BUILD YOUR POWER 10 IN 30 DAYS.

You don't need thousands of followers.

You need the right ten relationships.

Inside, you'll find practical relationship-building lessons, opportunities to connect with other members, live Connection Hours, and a simple daily system to help you take action.

No awkward networking.

No pressure to pitch everyone.

Just a more intentional way to build your professional network.



And here's my challenge before you leave:

Think of one professional you haven't spoken to in a while.

Reach out.

Ask how they're doing.

Find out what they're working on.


Your next opportunity might begin with that conversation.

Action Creates Momentum.

Connections Create Opportunities.

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet
Add a rating
bottom of page